Expat Expert

After almost four months here, it's easy to forget how different things are. Sure, I know that when I visit the US in August I'm going to have a huge culture shock. But I forget exactly why, until I get those great little reminders.
New expats are great reminders. I've met three in the last week, and my friend Erica and I have been showing them the ropes. For example, after yesterday's Hash (www.p2h3.com), I crossed the street. When I reached the curb, I realized that my new friend Claire was petrified on the opposite curb. I forget how terrifying it is to walk through six or eight lanes of motos. I don't know why, but it's made quite an impression on me.
I've also started trying to bargain in Khmer. It's easier than you'd expect. I'm getting pretty good at the numbers, and everything else can be done with sounds. A whistle at the starting price, then a counter offer, much lower. A groan, then a second counter offer. A long "hmmm," then shake your hands in the way the locals do, which means something like "I don't have," or "I cannot." Finally, start walking away to get their final bid. Number of Khmer words spoken: 7. But I'm getting good enough that it's finally cheaper to cook at home than eating out. And if you speak even a little Khmer, the price does drop a bit because you're not a tourist. Moral of the story: It's only a little about what you say. It's more how you sound and how you look. And if you sound like you understand the language, the price gets lower. Of course, if you look as white as I do, the price will still be high. But that's not changing.
Finally, I'm still a deputy director of something. It's clearly a bad idea, but they continue to mistake my English skills for intelligence. Unfortunately, they've expanded to facebook. It's only a matter of time before my boss finds the wrong photos. Nothing good can come of this.
Basically, nothing interesting has happened since I rode that elephant. I guess we can't have jungle adventures all the time. But when you get down to it, hopping on the back of a stranger's moto, when said stranger doesn't speak English, is always a kind of adventure, I guess. Tune in next week, because you'll never know when I'll eat balut- a duck egg with the fetus developing (it almost happened yesterday).

Mondulkiri Mountain Madness

Yes, unfortunately it seems that I like alliteration in my titles. Sorry.
Last weekend was a holiday weekend (the king's birthday Friday, Buddha's Tuesday), so two of the roommates and I went to Mondulkiri, one of the mountain provinces. We took three other French people, and met half a dozen more, so my French is slowly getting better (whether I like it or not). We did trekking (the guide clearly thought we were more prepared than we were), rode elephants, and spent the night in a Pnong tribal village. I took a ton of pictures, until my camera died the last day. Have a look.
This is what it looks like to wash an elephant. We have Benji, Ranie, and one of the guides. Look at how much it's raining.
You could get under the small waterfall and hang out in the air pocket. It's a great alternative to a shower, and the water was warmer than the rain. These are two of the guides.
This scene is all too common in the area. The people think that the forest is more valuable as farm land, so they're cutting tracts like this one at an alarming rate. It's a shame to see it.
These were our elephants. Mine is the one with the guide on it. His name was Po, and he was 10 years old (and looked about six). But it's okay, his older brother was also guiding us. The brother was 15.
Piggies. Sleeping pile of cuteness.
This was where we stayed Saturday night. The child was adorable, as was the puppy (not pictured). The puppy cried all through dinner because no one was playing with him. Dinner was amazing, and I had 12 of the best hours of sleep ever.
Dinner. Also, our guide, Nat, in the pink shorts. No electricity here, and the water was from the well (or bottles, for drinking). They still had a TV, though, in case they ever fixed the generator.
Baby ducklings. Because this blog needs more cuteness.
When you jump off a waterfall wearing sunglasses, you have to hold your face when you land. When I swam up, one of the French girls was practicing her Khmer with her guide. I heard her say "He is from America," in Khmer. Was it the sunglasses or the camera that gave it away?
Finally, an update on the cooking situation. This was my first yogurt cake. The second was equally successful. The oatmeal cookies (or cookie, really, a big one in the bottom of the rice cooker), weren't as photogenic, but were quite delicious. I'm trying again tonight. I even bought cinnamon.
It was a great weekend. I'd forgotten how much I love just walking through the woods, looking at flowers and spiders, or throwing sticks in a river just to watch them float through the little waves. Also, it's nice not to worry about poison ivy. Ticks aren't a problem either, but leeches can be (even away from the river, they hold onto the grass). And in case you were wondering, Chaco flip-flops do great in the rain, but when it stops they collect mud and become difficult to walk in. I still defend my choice to take them on the trek.

Standing out

Last Friday afternoon was amusing. On the way home, I bought some shelves. Three, to be exact. Attached is a kind of coat rack, which I'll use to hang shirts, my only necktie, and apparently a belt and a hammock. The whole apparatus is about six feet tall, but it's wicker, so it's super light. The moral of the story is this: if you want to stand out in SE Asia, it's not that hard. I start with being white. It comes fairly naturally, but that doesn't really help me stand out in some situations. So I grow a beard. I realize some of you won't be able to pull that off either, but I'll make it easier. Wearing long sleeves, dress pants, and a tie during the hottest month of the year, then riding your bicycle in the hottest part of the day will turn a head or two. Throw in some sunglasses for good measure. Finally, in case there was anyone in your line of sight not yet staring, tie a 6' tall wicker apparatus to the back of your bicycle and ride down one of the busier streets in Phnom Penh. Even your neighbors will stare.
Where was I coming home from, in such a state? I'm glad you asked. I found some poor company who thinks I have a clue what I'm talking about. I went in looking for some freelance work, and the director had some ideas. He's doing these workshops on Stephen Covey's "7 Habits" book, and I said I'd help out. I met him a second time last Friday. There was paperwork involved, and now I'm the deputy director of his company, Top Learning Center. What that does that entail? A speech at the beginning of the workshops, proofreading some emails and such, and "any other duties if needed." So I'm definitely the token white guy. It may be only that, a face for the web site, but it may turn into a monster. Either way, you're reading the blog of a deputy director, which is something I never thought I'd be able to say.
In other news, www.couchsurfing.org pretty much rocks. I just finished hosting for the second time, and it was a blast. You should try it. It leads to sitting at a bar with six other people, all from different countries. On a related note, it's kinda nice to be a native English speaker.
Finally, on the culinary front, the oatmeal cookie turned out great. Palm sugar is a little stronger in taste than brown sugar, but works for oatmeal cookies (or cookie, as it was all made in the bottom of a rice cooker). Also, only make half a batch (1.5 cups/350 ml of oatmeal). Also, apparently you can make a great cake using yogurt. It takes just over 2 hours to cook, but it's worth the wait. Of course, a proper oven might be better.

Food is the mos t interesting thing I do anymore.

It's true. My life would be boring if I didn't eat.
I've been working on the concept of curry. I don't have it down, but I'm getting there. Here's what I've been using:
1. Start the rice in the rice cooker. (If you forget, it's a real pain. Trust me.)
2. In your trusty pestle, combine 4 or 5 red chilies, some peppercorn, one or two cloves of garlic, and maybe a shallot. Theoretically, some tumeric, coriander root, lemon grass, garlic chives, and Thai ginger should be added. But that's a lot of stuff I don't know how to say in Khmer. Also, I can point at garlic a lot more easily than coriander root, mostly because I know exactly what garlic looks like.
3. Pound everything in the pestle until you don't really recognize it. Or until your arm starts hurting. Use your other hand to keep little pieces of chili from splattering into your eye, because that hurts. Trust me.
4. Throw the paste onto a skillet with some coconut milk. Stir fry some veggies in it. Maybe some meat, if you have any. Eggs work too.
5. Serve over rice. If your roommates start eying it, tell them they're welcome to have some- you only used 4 chilies, so it's not that spicy. They should leave it alone.
I've had good success with eggplant, carrots, some lettucey thing I've been buying, bell peppers, and cauliflower. Not all at once.
Earlier tonight, some friends helped me to push the boundaries of fusion cuisine. We combined Japanese and Mexican styles, in what we called the "sushito"- a combination of sushi and burrito. It's a very American concept. The BLT sushito was a hit (that's bacon, lettuce, and tomato, for those who doubted). Next time we're going for the Philly roll: steak and cheese. It'll go downhill from there, I'm sure. These are the same people who cooked chocolate chip cookies (really more of a cookie cake I guess) over a BBQ grill last weekend. Just because it's not conventional doesn't mean it's not amazingly tasty.
Speaking of cookies, the rice cooker experimentations are going well. My roommate Mathilde and I made a wonderful chocolate cake, with good chocolate that she brought back from France. I wish I had pictures. And half an hour ago, I put in some oatmeal cookie dough. At the time of this writing, it needed about fifteen more minutes, maybe longer, but is looking promising. This is, of course, the problem with rice cooker baking: your maximum temperature is barely over 200 degrees Fahrenheit. This means a cake may take up to a week to bake fully. But, in the ovenless land of Asia, this is totally worth it. Also, isn't oatmeal cookie dough the best tasting uncooked thing ever?
In other news, the weather is starting to change. I'm told that April is the hottest month, and the rainy season may be starting. I asked my students, because we're studying weather terms this week. However, we've never studied climate, so getting a straight answer has been difficult. But it's rained 2 of the last 3 days, which hasn't happened since I've been here. I guess I'll know soon enough. In any event, I'm going to put a spare pair of socks in my backpack.
I just checked the cookies again. I think they need another six months.